I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
