Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
