What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
