We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize