I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
only if we run a train.
done.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
