We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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