You smell like stripper and shame
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
