I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
