Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize