I want you more than these girls want KFC
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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