haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
