I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
