why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm jealous of your bromance
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
