every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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