For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
