I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize