I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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