problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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