nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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