Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
