just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
