K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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