have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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