What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
