You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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