I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
