oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
