Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I think I died a long time ago.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
