Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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