it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
