I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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