Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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