Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
