She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize