no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
