Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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