When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
