I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
