can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
