Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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