I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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