Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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