My balls are so social today.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
