Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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