What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
