We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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