I'm really into asian looking animals
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I deserve this hangover.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
