So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
