I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
