you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
