scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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