Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Drunk is not a location!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
