uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Acid is not a monday night drug
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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