at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
