My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
