i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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